Military officer’s decision turns out bad

I was serving in the Middle East— as the commanding officer— and picked a bad place to conduct refueling ops. I didn’t recognize it as a bad location at the time, but when the weather abruptly set in it was obvious…

We couldn’t move.

That night, the enemy encircled us, and we came under massive fire. Thankfully, only two of my men were wounded. Based on the threat, it statistically should have been more.

•  One suffered a mild injury
•  The other’s was massive.

It was my fault completely. It was all a result of my poor judgment as the commander.

Twenty years later, my wife and I had dinner with the soldier with the most debilitating injuries.

“I’m so sorry,” I told him. “This was my fault.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

I reminded him of the details of that mission. I explained my regrets. I detailed all the things I wish I would have done differently.

“I’ve never looked at it that way,” he said.

“This was my bad decision-making,” I replied. “I’m sorry…”

I asked him for forgiveness and he freely gave it, once again punctuating the fact that he never blamed me…

“It could have happened to anyone at any time,” he reminded me. “I was fully aware of the risks when I enlisted.”

His wife expressed her admiration of me, as well.

I never fully “let go” of what happened, but this certainly changed my way of looking at it. Sometimes, we blame ourselves for things other people don’t blame us for.

Furthermore, there are always things we can look back on— especially when you’re serving— and say, “Oh, this would have gone better if I did __________.”

There’s always room for improvement, always ways we can make better decisions…

But you’ve got to be able to move forward— even from the decisions you make that have bad outcomes.

This soldier and his wife showed me that.