EMT sees young death & old death differently

I’m a paramedic. I’ve been called to numerous homes when an elderly patient suffers a heart attack or seems to be having a stroke. I always do the best I can to serve the patient well and also honor the family members.

Sometimes, we’re able to help. Sometimes, we’re not.

One day I was dispatched to a nearby high school. A 15yo female was having a heart attack. Then she went into cardiac arrest.

We tried— for a really long time— to resuscitate her. We couldn’t do it. We tried for a really long time, but we failed.

It seemed to hit different when a 85yo died— someone who might pass away in the next year or so, anyway— than when that 15yo did. I’m not sure why that’s the case. Both lives are equally valuable, but I felt the 85yo probably had a good life and it was his time… and the 15yo was someone cut short because I couldn’t bring her back.

I’m not sure why that still haunts me, but it does.