Drone pilot overwhelmed at “video games”

I was a drone pilot while serving in the Air Force. I was the only female in a small group of males.

We used to go into a dark room each day, sit in front of screens, and basically fly remote control airplanes towards the enemy. We fought, but we did so from the safety of our office.

The men never harassed me. I was nervous about that, because I heard all these things about Military Sexual Trauma from other ladies who served, but it never happened to me.

Instead, I was overwhelmed by how flippant and causal these men were with the loss of life.

We flew our drones from a big screen— while sitting in “gaming chairs” in a dark room. Our planes (the drones were small, unmanned planes) were hundreds of miles away, I believe. We never saw them, much less maintained them or loaded the weapons we fired.

We controlled them, and we fired the missiles that blew apart office buildings, blasted strategic targets, and busted-up people’s lives in a moment. It all played out on the screen.

The men I served with treated it all like a video game. They tallied scores on a whiteboard in the room and treated it all just like one of those realistic-looking video games kids play.

Most days, after the shift, they went to eat pizza or met up at a nearby bar.

I couldn’t believe they treated the loss of life— killing people— so flippantly.

At the same time, I was doing the same thing. I just didn’t talk about it, buy a drink for the “daily winner,” or anything like that.