Vietnam vet explains his PTSD & Moral Injury

I think my story illustrates the difference between PTSD & Moral Injury…

During Vietnam, I was stationed at De Nang. I was in the Air Force and was assigned to the Armed Forces Network. My job was to go on the broadcast station that was set up for the American military— to provide the news and entertainment. We went on air each day and shared the latest news from the States, replayed recent sports games, and provided entertainment for the troops.

A friend recently asked, “Oh, so you were like a real life Robin Williams— from the movie Good Morning, Vietnam?”

“Not really,” I told him. “Because we were on the television and not just the radio. And we never trusted the local kids as much as he did in that film.”

But, that movie reference did kinda describe my job.

Anyway, I think I experienced PTSD because of all of the rockets that were fired upon us.

One time, the Viet Cong hit one of our planes as it landed, just before the soldiers could disembark. A lot of our men died.

We were constantly on edge— especially after that. That probably led to my PTSD.

At the same time, I remember standing on the porch at the network and sipping a cocktail (they had an on-site bar for us), watching our helicopters and planes fly by. The aircraft were always en route to the front lines.

Many times, I thought, “They won’t all make it. Some will die today.”

And— “I should be going to the battle with them and not just sitting here and talking for the camera while enjoying a drink.”

I think that led to Moral Injury.